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Oct. 16th, 2008 | 11:45 pm

When I was in high school, my local library had a number of nonfiction books on display for Halloween. One of them was called The Haunting, or some equally generic name.

I checked this book out and started reading it. It was pretty poorly written, as if someone was really intent on telling the story of this family and their experiences, skill be damned. For some reason that made it much scarier.

The book followed a family and their numerous experiences with a ghost or a demon terrorizing their family. At this point all I can remember is the spirit threw kids out of bunk beds, a weird shadow puppy ran through a wall, and whatever it was supposedly followed the parents as they tried to drive to meet a Priest that would come out and do an exorcism on their home.
It scared me so badly I had to sleep with the lights on, with my dogs in the room, in short increments. I was afraid to close my eyes in the shower when I was washing my hair, I think because there was a story about something appearing in the tub when someone in the family was in there.

After that first night I brought the book to school, because I wanted to finish it and get it away from me forever as soon as possible. I could not live without knowing the entire story, though.

By the end of the book I was reading it out in the back yard because I was afraid to bring it into the house. When I finished I literally threw it in the car (I'm not sure what I thought that would accomplish, but I did do it) and drove it back to the library.
I have not been able to find that book since, which kind of makes me think I made the whole thing up. And that would make me officially crazy.

Anyone else ever scared by something random like that?

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I don't need a monday nap!

Sep. 29th, 2008 | 06:42 pm

All right, this is my complain entry, because I love to complain.

My middle finger on my right hand is really swollen and in pain. I don't know if I bit the nail too low or messed with the cuticle or what, but it sucks. It was much much worse this morning. Now I can almost straighten my finger out all the way without it sucking the big one, so that's good. I just had no one to complain to, so I had to wait until now.

I worked on my speech about being a vegetarian again today, since I was all by myself, so that means I was either going to sing to myself or talk to myself anyway. I am so sick of the word vegetarian its not even funny.

My throat has hurt since yesterday, although its starting to feel better now. That means that by tomorrow I will probably be sick as a dog. Francisco came in at four today and was eating ice cream, which he almost never does. I asked him why, and he said it was because his throat had been hurting him all day. It's weird that it sounds like we are both getting the same sickness, because I almost never see Francisco. He comes in and I leave, or vice versa.

Also, we bet two containers of orange juice that the Cubs will win their series against the Dodgers. I told him I was going to be swimming in the orange juice.

On a completely unrelated note, my mother brought me a pumpkin spiced chai from seven-eleven last night, and it was pretty kick ass. Of course I thought that, since my two favorite things are anything pumpkin flavored/scented, and chai tea. I actually like it a lot more than Starbucks' pumpkin spiced coffee. I used to like it, but when I got it recently I wasn't impressed.

All right, I have to work on my college application essays, read some Henry Rollins...and watch Gossip Girl. I know, I know, I'm so immature.

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monday morning, you gave me no warning

Sep. 28th, 2008 | 11:16 pm

Post o rama this weekend! I always post most when I have the least to say.

I got myself all psyched up that today was the day i would finish my online application for U of I...and of course today was scheduled maintenance.

Another Sunday of being bored out of my mind at work, which will be followed tomorrow by another Monday of being bored out of my mind. At least I'm getting good practice for my next speech for class, since all I can do all day is talk to myself.

My Aunt comes in on Tuesday, and next Saturday, the eleventh, is my grandparent's fiftieth wedding anniversary party that my mom and my aunt have been planning for months. Of course, my crack head cousin and his sister, the child (and by child, I mean she's eighteen) who still thinks its cute to belch at dinner (every night) will be there, so rest assured it will not be a classy evening. Even if those two were not a factor, everything in the world pisses my Nana off recently. "That'll show him!" is her favorite sentiment, even when it makes no sense. Since it makes no sense, she can apply it to any and all situations equally.

My mom and I had a mini impromptu Paranormal State marathon tonight, featuring my favorite episode ever. There is one where a fifty something year old lady is totally in love with the ghost that has been haunting her house ever since her family when they moved in in the sixties. Everyone else is convinced its evil, but she has convinced herself that he is simply misunderstood. She also has convinced herself that he is sticking around the house to be near her, even though he died in the late eighteen hundreds and they moved in....about seventy years later.
That actually reminds me of a book I read when I was in middle school and could still somewhat tolerate young adult fiction. There was a series of books about a teenage medium, and over time she grew to love the ghost of a teenage boy haunting her room. I think they started to date towards the end of the series, and the question of them sharing the same room but not the same physiological state of being at such an early stage in their relationship was quite an awkward one. Or I just thought it through to that point, and that's when I started wandering around the library aimlessly looking for any books that were better than that. I once read an entire book on competitive eating. Why? The title was awesome: Horsemen of the Esophagus. You can not argue with a title like that.
Because it will swallow you whole, that's why not. Listen, you, I don't just say these things to hear myself talk. I'm giving you real life advice here! Don't mess with a title like that or it will be the LAST thing you do!
And then you will end up becoming a ghost and haunting your local library and no one will want to attend storytime for the local kids and then a whole generation of children in your area will become illiterate and now you've just caused a civics disaster, just because you wouldn't heed my warnings. Maybe in your next life you would. Spend the time in between thinking of cool things to tattoo on your knuckles.

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Its technically Sunday

Sep. 28th, 2008 | 02:08 am

but I haven't slept yet.

Anyway, in a light night burst of love for awesomeness, I just want to say HOORAY that My Name Is Earl is back. I just watched the newest episode and it was hilarious.
I have yet to watch The Office, but I'm sure its great. And 30 Rock isn't back for a while.
Meanwhile, My Name Is Earl's evil twin Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia is pretty freaking awesome, too.

I sound like such a TV addict.

I read books too, I promise.

Like I found out the Harper library has a collection of the first five Henry Rollins books! The librarian who checked it out for me informed me I had made a good choice. This was also the least stereotypical librarian ever. It was a youngish guy with not quite an entire sleeve, but a fair amount of tattoos. I just didn't want anyone to unfairly picture a seventy year old lady in a purple cardigan with her glasses on a chain around her neck listening to Black Flag and pogoing along. That would not be an accurate description of events.

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Its Saturday. I know this to be true.

Sep. 27th, 2008 | 03:04 pm

So in my last post, when I said it was only the second week of having all four classes and I was wiped out? Yeah, I was so wiped out that I meant to say second day...only one week.

Work yesterday was really boring. I was basically alone from 9 to 5:30, and I got off work at six. By basically alone, I mean I worked with someone for a few minutes before my boss came in and execution style fired someone. Then he promised to tell me why, stole a banana, and left, never to inform. I guess I'll have to wait for tomorrow.

Then I went to my grandma's house to visit my uncle who is town until the end of october. I think he's already going slightly mad, so he was pretty excited to see my sister and I. He made us a loooot of mashed potatoes.
Spending any time at all with my cousin is pretty frightening, since she's so foolish its concerning.

Then my sister and I went to see her friend's band play, and it was pretty kick ass. So kick ass the mic stand could not keep up. Prince imitations will get me every time, but the show stood alone in awesomeness without it.

Then she is condo sitting, so we went over there and watched episodes of Ghost Hunters, while her boyfriend did his Ghost Hunters dance and told us all the things he likes when he is scared (eating pizza, hugging a chihuaha).

Now I've had all day to do some homework, and all I've done is by a book on Amazon that my school bookstore doesn't have. Now I'm going to email my teacher and get ready for work.

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commencing countdown engines on

Sep. 25th, 2008 | 11:27 pm

First of all, I am constantly tired now. It's only the second week of having four classes again, and I am sooo wiped. Maybe because we have no food at my house most of the time so I live off of fruit shakes and chips? (And no fruit shakes this week, because I haven't worked with my boss, who is the only one who knows how to make them. I tried to make my own and it was barfy).
I went to sleep at 7 (!) last night, woke up at ten forty, went back to sleep a couple hours later, and then slept until 8:30. And I wanted to nap all day, but didn't really have the time.

Secondly, I hate the Pussycat Dolls and everything they stand for. Passionately.


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Sep. 18th, 2008 | 01:53 pm

The kid in front of me in creative writing looks like an angry Jim Halpert, and this is troubling. What would happen to make this quasi-Halpert constantly angry? An inflamed bowel? A worldwide shortage of mints? The difficulty in finding Alfred Dunner clothing? WHAT could it be?

Sometimes it puzzles me so much that I just stare at his Converse and try to figure it out while most of the class is learning to write poetry effectively. Actually, they probably are listening to the kid in class who has decided that he is an expert on poetry, and so makes frequent observations (which are, a lot of the time, rephrasing of what the previous person observed. Does this mean he was so focused on his idea that he didn't realize that someone else just said the same thing? Or does he think we won't realize its the same thing? Or does he think he's expanded on the idea, when, in reality, its purely retreading the same territory? See, whichever thing I pay attention to is rife with questions). To be fair, but not at all on topic, the "kid" with the observations is not at all a kid. I don't know how old he is, but he does remind me of a frog. Actually, a frog who thinks he might be a secret prince, but the real secret is how to get him to shut up. A closely guarded secret, at that.

I think it might be a poor choice to begin the day with as much iced coffee as I did, and then to follow up later wit a large can of sweet tea. The caffeine is clearly not helping my mental processes at all.

I did wake up this morning and decide emus are weirdly poetic, and this was before coffee. Oh, emus, with your large wings and...extensive....walking to places....how you guarantee that I will never be a good poet. But I will have plenty of very large eggs, so everyone else can suck it in that respect.

My dad made me a vegetarian s'more just a little while ago, and it was really good. I miss being able to eat s'mores. Giving up meat was easy, its the stuff you never think about beforehand that gets to you. I used to love sitting at the kitchen table before school picking all the cereal pieces out of my Lucky Charms, leaving only the marshmallows and then going through the jingle as many times as possible with the shapes I had.
It took me a really, really long time to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms.
In high school.

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iced tea is only moments away

Sep. 7th, 2008 | 02:09 am

I got to call the cops at work today. Don't be jealous. It involved a slightly inappropriately amorous individual and a seventeen year old employee.

He came back to see her three times, and visit #3 was when I called a store manager (mine was drunk, I'm sure) and he told me I needed to call the cops.

It was all very exciting and yet not exciting at all, because it was creepy. At least the girl was gone the second two times he came in.

Its right on the verge of being chilly, but thankfully hasn't gotten there yet. It just makes it weird to get dressed, is all I'm saying. Sweater or tank top?
I'm starting to get excited for Halloween. HALLOWEEN. Its a disease, this overexcitement for holidays.

I'm too tired to think of anything else exciting that happened today.

Peace out, home skillet!

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Oh my

Sep. 6th, 2008 | 01:16 am

The ladies are mad that Oprah won't interview Sarah Palin.

"She's being two-faced," said Dr. Cindy Grossman-Green, a pediatrician and Oprah fan from outside Philadelphia. "She initially had Obama on her show, but now that she's decided [to support him], she won't have any other political candidates on."
Mmk, the term "two faced" would imply that she is showing evidence of supporting two conflicting things, in this case, candidates. Her having Obama on her show and not any other candidate is, in fact, the polar opposite of two-faced.
Leaving out, of course, that he was on before he announced he was running for President, and not since.

I also don't mean this next bit to sound harsh, but if you are deciding how you want to vote based on an hour long episode of Oprah....you are fucking ignorant. Ok, I guess that might have been a little harsh. But honestly, this is the next four years of your life. How dare you place the burden of your information seeking on Oprah. Write a question for the Vice Presidential debate, if you want to know Sarah Palin's views on something. If you want to know how she manages to be a mom to an assorted number of children and still find the time to not believe in any science ever, I'm sure that will come up, too. Constantly, I would be willing to bet.

Seriously, Oprah doesn't wait for Oprah to find everything in the world out and spoon feed it to her. She IS Oprah and she knows EVERYTHING and so can YOU if you READ SOMETHING, and then KEEP GOING.

I guess the point of all of this was, Goddamn it Cindy Grossman-Green-Lou-Who, I know you can read, since your first name is Doctor. And what you need to read is this: Wikipedia. Figure out what two-faced means, and then maybe move on to other colloquial phrases. Why? Because I would never let you look in my child's ear while you were talking all stupid like that.
Also, Oprah is 100% right, and she always is. Name me a time when Oprah was wrong. You can't. Because you have a job, and so do I.

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When you believe in things, you don't understand

Aug. 27th, 2008 | 10:07 pm
music: young americans, david bowie

I went to my first class yesterday, only to come to realize it had been canceled without anyone having the decency to let me know, or even update it online so when i checked my schedule it still showed up. They better, because I want my money back, son.

My second class was tonight, and I was not on board. I thought I might find journalism mildly interesting, but it requires that you, like, pay attention to the news! Shocking! What was I expecting? I don't know man, it should have been that. If there is no glitter, I'm already tuning out. If there is no chance a guitar can enter the mix, then just forget it. I'm asleep.
Now, there is a chance I am kidding about this. But I'm not. Here's a good example: I took philosophy and saw how some of it might make for a good concept album (and if I hear an album based on some of the theories, I would feel smart....see?)
The Roma (read: gypsy) culture comes to mind every time I listen to the Stevie Wonder song Superstitious (wash your face and hands......), so that makes cultural anthropology fit in the mold. See?
History can be in a rock song, but not really current events. Fire in Des Plains? Who would write a song about that? Politics certainly enters music, but as long as I have a vague idea of the goings on, I can understand the Muse references to it.

Titan loves making himself at home in my closet lately. Its weird. Every time I turn around, he's tunneling under my sweaters.

I watched The TV Set this week, and then listened to the commentary that was basically pointing out how all of this related to Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared. Sigourney Weaver and Meryl Streep totally need to have and Awesomeness all out Battle Royale. They both rock in good movies and total shit, so it might be a toss up. Like, Sigourney doing Back in the USSR in a fake Russian accent in Heartbreakers (shitfest, but also featuring Jason Lee...wtf?) vs. Meryl rocking out in Momma Mia to Dancing Queen. I think the winner gets to live with David Bowie for a year. He is the King of Awesome, after all.

All right, I've stopped making sense. Time to move on to something else. Looking up Buzzcocks videos on YouTube, perhaps?

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